I Value the Curious Mood of Eels
D. Harlan Wilson

The title is spoken by a man gripping the long trunk of a delicate Tiffany lamp. He’s fat. Alone. He’s standing right behind you. I can see his round, welted eyes through the stained glass of the lampshade. Let’s think about this now.

One should not use “I” in formal criticism—the “I” is always-already implied as you are the author of this essay.

Likewise should the 2nd person be avoided at all costs. Formal criticism is not a matter of “I”s & “you”s. It is a matter of ...

... crux of my argument regards the emotional spectrum of eels. Do eels possess an emotional spectrum? If so, do they only possess one mood? To possess only one mood would negate this notion of an emotional spectrum insofar as spectrum indicates a kind of variety or diversity—plus d'une humeur, as it were. But conceivably the speaker is talking about a group of eels who at a particular moment are collectively experiencing a particular type of mood, viz., a “curious” mood. This raises another seminal question: Is it the eels who are curious about something or is the speaker curious about the mood, whatever it is, of the eels? Or is the eels’ mood such that the speaker simply refers to it as a “curious” phenomenon, i.e., not a phenomenon that invokes wonderment, but rather a merkwürdige Erfahrungth that is so strange & peculiar as to merit the term “curious,” describing it in a very general sense? Whatever the case, there is also the issue of the speaker’s feelings towards the (alleged) feeling(s) of the eels, i.e., he “values” them, or rather, he “values” it (remember, the “mood” is singular, not plural). The only reasonable explanation for this wild instance of appreciation is that the speaker, who somehow (& impossibly) knows that the eels possess emotion, feels good about an organism that one wouldn’t think possesses emotion does in fact possess emotion (even if it doesn’t, in fact). Moreover, where are these eels? I don’t see any eels. Do you? Then there is the whole question about the “I” of the speaker’s utterance. Does the “I” refer to him? Is the “I” a fictional character? Does it perhaps refer to me, or that person over there, or a chaise lounge, or a daikaiju, or Infinity? The twitching insects of despair compel me to interrogate these so-called avhør ...

[Revert to the second & third paragraphs. Say something about the Tiffany lamp again. Follow this comment with an arbitrary scene of ridiculous ultraviolence. Finally tie all the loose ends together in a fragmented, 11-word conclusion.]

D. Harlan Wilson's recent and upcoming books include Blankety Blank: A Memoir of Vulgaria (Raw Dog Screaming Press 2008), Technologized Desire: Selfhood & the Body in Postcapitalist Science Fiction (Guide Dog Books 2009) and Peckinpah: An Ultraviolent Romance (Shroud 2009). Find out more at www.dharlanwilson.com.