The Gravedigger
Andersen Prunty

Gladys goes downstairs and taps her husband on the shoulder.

"Hank, you gotta go talk to that boy," she says.

Hank punches himself in the face. "What's the little jackass done now?"

"Why, I left him alone for two minutes and he done cut off his balls and glued them to his forehead."

"For Christ's sake." Hank massages his jaw. "Let me get my pants on."

He puts his pants on and goes upstairs. From behind him Gladys shouts, "And remember to call him Snake or he won't answer ya!"

Hank gets upstairs and opens the door to the boy's room. "Snake" is laying on the bed, gazing out the window. His balls glisten on his forehead.

Hank snaps. He rushes over to the bed, picks up the boy and shakes him.

"You listen here," he says. "If you think you can get away with murder just cuz you got them damn leg braces then you got another thing comin'. Get them balls off your head."

"I can't," Snake says.

"Well you better find a way."

"You try it. They're glued."

Hank angrily reaches out and clutches one of the testicles. The thing won't come loose. It squishes between his fingers.

"That does it," Hank says.

He yanks Snake off the bed and throws him onto the floor. The boy's leg braces squeak and clank and tangle together.

"Get your pants down. I'm givin' you the spankin' you deserve."

The boy moans. He tries to crawl into the bathroom.

Gladys bursts into the room. "Hank! Hank now you cut that out now!"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Hank kneels by the bed and begins to pray.

Snake makes it into the bathroom. He finds a razor and slashes his wrists. The blood courses out and he discovers that he can now walk without the aid of the leg braces. He removes them one at a time and tosses them into the bathtub. Then he throws open the bathroom door, charges across the bedroom, leaps onto his bed, bounces into the air, and crashes through the window.

His parents call an ambulance. A hearse shows up instead. A huge man in a yellow jumpsuit gets out. The man is the gravedigger.

Snake lies in a crumpled heap on the front lawn. He may or may not be dead.

The gravedigger removes an enormous shovel from the back of the hearse and digs a hole in the lawn. Once the hole is deep enough, he nudges Snake into it with his foot.

The boy's parents stand in the doorway of their house. They cry and hold each other as the gravedigger fills in the hole, gets back into his car and drives away. He sticks his hand out the window and waves goodbye.

Hank and Gladys go back inside the house to start over.

Andersen Prunty lives in the tropical splendor of Dayton, Ohio. Feel free to email him at andersenprunty@yahoo.com.